My AUGUST!

Sunday, 2 August 2009

HOW I WANTED TO POST MY AUGUST SCHEDULE HERE USING OUTLOOK... WELL... IM SO HAPPY THAT I FINALLY ORGANISED MY TIME.
MY TIME is divided among: BF, Home, Church, Work, Friends and ALSO SELF!!! =P
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! AT LEAST I CAN RELAX FOR 3 DAYS!! =P

| 20:38 |

Still Metamorphosis-ing

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

A new girl came into Gardenia today.
I wasnt really excited about her arrival, I just had a sense of unease. Weeks before she came, there were so much gossips about who she is and what's her motives for being attached here. I mean what so good abt my company? After 4 months of working, there wasnt much I can really work for. Well, all I can say is the management is weak. I was definitely expecting it to be different. I was unsure how this person would be like: what's her character? How she looks?

Fat? Short? Thin? Tall? Blah Blah Blah...

From afar, I saw her walking with the sycophantic R&D manager, her features were so indistinct, I cant wait to see the real her.

So when you get to know her after conversations and you saw her, you wouldnt think she is haughty with someone like her background. You know what I mean, RICH!

Ok, her shoes and bag she is wearing and carrying doesnt pull her any lower than a middle class citizen!

Since, she is from Food Science, I wouldnt think of hiding her in the office and doing paperwork stuffs! Unlike some people who want to protect her because of who she is.

Well, she is pretty and I do admit I got a little jealous at first.
Somehow, I got enlightened and I know she is who she is and I am who I am. we are humans but we are not the same in characters. She has her forte and I have mine. It doesnt matter anymore, when you know you are loved. No matter whether the love is from family, future spouses, friends or even GOD, we all deserved to be loved and cherished.

I am already glad that I have such family, though they are not rich, not poor but I had a responsible dad and mom who have given us wonderful childhood and many learning experiences. I am who I am is because of their loves.

Not to mention, my bf too! He gave me many tough times and those tough times I think have build up our relationship. We cherished each other more and learn more about the negative sides of us. Communicate, compromise and grow! Because nobody is perfect not even relationship. I am very grateful for him being with me all the time when I needed him. His accompaniment has been a blessing to me and also mine to him. I thanked him for his wonderful patience and tolerance towards me!
Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!

God, my dearest protector and care giver! Jesus, the saviour to mankind and his wonderful grace! How I adore him! Peaks or valley, depressed or happy, HE will always be there for you! His presence is 24 hrs, just like 7 eleven stores! My Kindergarten, Primary and Secondary school life are so much a joy to me! Praise Jesus, because I knew he protected and guided me all along! In his loving arms, I can declare I am loved and protected very much!

May wisdom and strength be upon me, OH GOD! Amen!

Nite! Nite!
Sweetie! =P

| 21:59 |

Dare To Forgive?

Friday, 19 June 2009

Ages since I posted here. OCT 2008? Haha.

Well, since I meant ages obviously even babies turn teenagers.

Remember dearest invisible readers? I used to write intriguing and sensational posts. I think I am having trouble getting those thoughts into words, since I am not in creative writing. I do enjoy creative writing, it was something I quite look forward to, though it can be threatening and scary each week of lesson. The ideas got to be there always.

Just watch Oprah 1hr 30mins ago. Kent Whitaker. I hope I spelt his name correctly. He had undergone a somewhat unbelievable tragedy. His own son (Bart), killed his own family members (mom and younger brother). Well, it was a plot set up by his elder son. He requested his friends to kill his family. It was said that Bart had live a life which he could not figure out who he really is in this world. He received no love and gave no love. (I felt that no one in this world can live by himself only. You just have to have the faith to believe that there is love that exist in this world even though it can be hard to believe sometimes, especially when people whom we loved betray us. Just have faith! Just believe!)

How is it possible that a seemingly happy and loving family, suddenly turn into a family that dont even know or understand each family member? Does communications play a part? Or are we too sure that we had already understand each other? Can a happy family be a facade to those deep dark sides of us? Us as in humans?

Kent was brave. I wonder how he got such great strengths to fight this clearly difficult emotional war? God has given him strengths and wisdom to deal with it. His faith towards God has given him the courage to hang on, because he knew God would not forsake him. Blessed Agape!

Why? Why? What triggered Bart to set up this plan to kill his family? He told Linda Ling (Oprah Correspondence) that since young he knew that the things he had was not what he wanted, the good grades, good behaviour boy etc were what his parents ask of him. He felt he is not himself but if he becomes himself, he was afraid he would lost affection from his parents. (He didnt know that no matter how bad you can be, parents will always be there for him. He was their precious, just as his younger brother. Its too late to figure his thoughts now, how you wish God could speak to him before such things happen. Ego, self-centred was lingering inside him, it was just too hard to penetrate.)

Forgive is the first step to healing. kent wanted so much to heal that he had to learn to forgive. Never take things for granted. Learned to discover your true self. It can take time but get someone to bring you through if you cant figure it out yourself. Never blame anyone for your misfortunate cause nobody will know unless you say it out. This is something I have to learn too. Overall, open your hearts and allow love to penetrate through, you will never know.

Anyway something that I had learned today. Something worth pondering over for everyone, especially Singapore. It was just to bliss to be true sometimes.

* http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20080904_tows_whitaker

| 21:15 |

random post by MAi

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

today is a boring day
yesterday was more worse
i hope some excitement will happen soon
mp is kind of sucks
keep doing micro test and so on
BORING!
hope kalpana can give some excitement to my mp
maybe a hunky lab partner or supervisor will do
i don't mind doing lab work all day
hmm... btw, me & the girls going to night safari soon
for the halloween theme
i'll wait patiently for the free tickets
coz mai got inter connection there
while jenn got discounts on them
waiting for nd lecture now
later doing lab test then pdm lecture
haiz... school starts already
yays! can see cutie mai and the rest!
thats it for today
wait for more updates
chiaoz

| 12:37 |

Rowan atkinson's recommended short play

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Tom. dick and harry


Pink Tights & Plenty of Props

| 21:18 |

Back to basics!

Sunday, 31 August 2008

Recently, there has been many things goin on.. major project, school, factory, work, vincent and knowing more frenz.
I m starting to feel the burden now and it was only through small little sketches then i find some inner peace.
Here are some random sketches done when i was working:

| 14:53 |

Starry Starry Night... Dear Vincent...

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

Vincent Van Gogh painted it in the asylum in 1889.
His life was never as beautiful as his painting.
Such contradictions!
He died when he attempted suicide with bullets.
His painting was never really recognised till he died.
What is the use of looking at his paintings when the creator has already died?
His sanity is proabably a gift for him.
If such sanity brought him more sorrow than happiness, whats the use of keeping his sanity?
Are all brilliant impressionists insane?

But his beautiful insanity has bought me a creation that gave remembrance of a beautiful relationship.
Whenever i heard this song and look at the painting, it brought me back to last sat when i sat under a starry night with him.
Simple things of sharing a snicker and taking pics and walking aimlessly around the artistically built infrastructure. Dim lit circular lightings, patches of smooth water on the labyrinth marbled walkways. Small crowd of spectators around the cartoonist. None of the commotion matters to us bcos we really enjoyed ourself that night.

Though, there had been many downs and ups, i cannot denied that true love doesnt grow from giving gifts, sending flowers, remembering her birthday, sending love msgs etc. They are small act of love and of cos not to forget doing some small loving actions like that once in a while. Nonetheless, a person can give u flowers, buy u chocolates, send u cards, give u surprises but that cannot prove that he loves u as much. In the end, the most impt that a guy can give u is his time. time cannot be bought, no matter how much money u have, it just cant be bought. he can buy u flowers and the next he tell u he has other things to do and he cant accompany u but who else knows he is actually meeting other girls. but time can prove to u that he loves u and regard u as impt as u can be to his heart though he hardly says it in his mouth. one day has 24 hrs, he wakes up at 8 and goes to his office to work till 7 and then he left his remaining time to choose to be with u. he can jolly well say oh! i have an appoinment with so whatever and socialise with other ppl. anyone can do that and u cannot control it, thats being too demanding. when he knows he is tired and he still meet u up and he knows he hardly has enough time to compensate to u. I m really touched by it!

well, others can say that so what if he spends time with u but his heart is not wit u? then i just have to say, woman, use ur heart to feel, use ur mind to think, use ur eyes to see, use ur ears to listen. did he asked u are u thirsty, are u hungry, do u wanna eat? do u need a rest? if ur bag is heavy u want me to carry it for u? u wanna eat this or that?

(while i was typing this he called me, sweet!)

I can say that sometimes in life, you have got to learn how to accept and let go. expect less but give more cos life still have to go on. in the end he knows me the best, thats why i learn so much from his point of view of what kind of a person im. i can say i a stubborn mule, i can be aggressive and headstrong, im a princess, neglect how ppl who are close to me feel. and the most impt is i learn how to communicate and understand ppl better now. all those books and audios. they are not a waste bcos they will remind me of how tough his teaching was to me. my first relationship wit a guy was short but sweet and i was not smart enough to realise i broke so many rules abt how to keep a man. until the day when i met him, he gave me lots of chances to change until at the most critical point of time i break down. and he was really anger. if not for a gd conver we had on that night and not for telling him how much he meant to me and he is not for granted, i would have lost him by now. i would have lost a very close frenz to me.

i presume my ex bf, might have tired of waiting for me to change but he never ask and talk to me abt why i feel this way and he immediately give up.

Now, i can tell u keeping a relationship as it was with sparks here and there is tough, nevertheless nothin is easy. But i think of all my life spent in this world, nothin is more fascinating when i reached 19, bcos im beginning to feel so filled with fascinations abt the world that i have never been exposed to b4.

And suddenly, i have doubts in what is beyond the horizon.

| 17:11 |